Chinese Dating Show Puts Veto Power in Parents’ Hands

BEIJING — You are a young Chinese man whose father tells you the most important skill his future daughter-in-law must have is caring for her home and family. Your mother rejects a year-old woman as your potential mate because she may be too old to bear children. A Weibo page for the show has been visited million times, and the first three episodes had more than million views online. Dating shows are not new in China. Although arranged marriages were discouraged after the fall of the last imperial dynasty in and banned by the Republican government in the s, Chinese millennials, often portrayed as the excessively indulged and protected products of the one-child family policy, now find themselves yielding to parents who are ready to provide them with everything, even a spouse. Zhang Tianshu, a year-old woman from Shenyang who appeared on the show in January, said none of her previous boyfriends had satisfied her mother. Zhang said in an interview. Fortunately, she found someone she liked on the show, and her parents liked him, too. The basic structure lines up several young men or women against five sets of parents. Only candidates approved by the parents are allowed to meet their children.

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ONE balmy evening in Shanghai, my boyfriend and I were strolling home from dinner when two boozy blond men called to us. Expecting a plea for directions, we stopped. The men leered at me and grinned at my boyfriend. Where can we get one of these? My boyfriend cursed at them and held me close as we crossed the street, but I dropped his hand.

But nothing had been as flagrant as this.

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In recent months, singles have fielded dating advice from unusual sources. Despite this chaste advice, people are dating. One Saturday, I dined with a funny Brit. The following Thursday, I met a handsome cinematographer for a gym session. All of it happened, awkwardly, on Zoom. The dating scene is booming — it has just gone virtual.

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The show provides for young people to find the marriage opportunity, in depth communications between parents and children to achieve their parents desire for building an inter-generational relationship on platform, including discussions about inside and outside of emotional, inter-generational contradictions and social topics. In the program show, candidates get the urge to marry from their parents who are either sitting on the stage and backstage for observation.

The 5 groups of parents would sit behind each podium to face a single guest and compete for their favorite companion as they want, for their children or child sitting in the soundproof room.

Unique among the country’s matchmaking shows, “Chinese Dating” gives parents The format of “Chinese Dating” adheres to Confucian traditions. A Weibo page for the show has been visited million times, and the first three Section A, Page 3 of the New York edition with the headline: Date Show.

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What was supposed to be a one-hour coffee date had evolved into a nine-hour marathon. We had a lot in common, having experienced what some might describe as all-American upbringings. Over dinner, we connected when we opened up about our strained relationships with our mothers and how we came into our own when we went to college out of state. Our thoughts and values mirrored each other, as did our Myers-Briggs personality types. I smiled, expecting something from one of the countless jokes we had shared that day.

After talking nonstop all day, I was at a loss for words. Her parents immigrated from Taiwan. Mine came from mainland China. She gave a halfhearted laugh. I love all Asian food, even stinky tofu. Maybe Asian men need better representation. You hear stories of people being catfished by fake online profiles.

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What kind of man would be a good match for you? I have high standards. For example, he must be well educated. Most important, he must respect women. Have you ever been in a relationship? Are you HauMei? I am Zhang Xu. Nice to meet you. You look better than your photo.

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